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Many also feel uncomfortable with the anonymity and practices of online services.
“If you come from a conservative household, and then you’re online with people who don’t have that background, it becomes very scary,” Aliya Khabir said.
Isn’t that kind of demeaning that you have to have a male relative there? “It takes a strong person to follow the rules when you live in a society that’s telling you that those rules are stupid, that they’re archaic, that they’re obsolete, that they’re chauvinist,” Khabir said.
Arranged marriages, strictly-controlled family introductions and chaperones are familiar territory for some young Muslims. A new approach to dating has been launched by a couple of young Asian entrepreneurs who set out to introduce young professional Muslims to more prospective partners in one evening than they may meet in a lifetime.
“I feel that the reason for it is because of the need.
It’s not a matter of, ‘Oh, I want to have two women.’ It’s a matter of no women should be left behind. If I’m 44, and I’m only looking at women who are 20 years younger than me, and I’m not considering women my age, that’s wrong.” At the same time, Aliya Khabir — special assistant at United Muslim Masjid and sister of Naeemah — sees many educated, financially independent women who prefer the extra free time and independence that polygyny provides.
’ ” It’s why Yusuf Abdul Jaleel, who traveled from Yonkers to attend the marriage committee’s latest match-up event in April, is open to a polygynous marriage.
An obstacle to finding a good Muslim man through dating can be Islam itself: The religion limits intermingling with the opposite sex, prohibits physical intimacy before marriage, and requires the presence of a Khabir, along with Kashief Smith, a fellow member of the United Muslim Masjid in South Philadelphia, created a “marriage fair” under the mosque’s Healthy Marriage Committee.“People tend to think that polygyny is just a man’s game.He’s the one that benefits everything, and they don’t look at the benefit of the woman,” Khabir said.This time, she met Muhammad Abdul-Warith, a man she thought was nice, funny, and, most important, comfortable around her 23-year-old son, also her The two then met at a Starbucks.Three visits later — always communicating through her son — the two eventually met on her porch and talked for several hours.